


rain

by splashsoph



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst and Feels, F/M, Family Fluff, Heartache, Heartbreak, LadyNoir - Freeform, Ladynoir | Adrien Agreste as Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng as Ladybug, Romantic Fluff, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-02
Updated: 2019-11-02
Packaged: 2021-01-16 21:27:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21277985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/splashsoph/pseuds/splashsoph
Summary: Chat finds himself in the rain and the soft moonlight after a meetup with Ladybug.





	rain

**Author's Note:**

> _it's still raining..._   
_why is it still raining?_   
_i did what i was supposed to_   
_that's not fair._

_drip, drip, drip,_

Water started to sprinkle from the sky, making a soft, calming noise.  
The moon shone high above Paris that late night, admiring the city's beauty from afar.  
Yet, no one was there to enjoy it.  
Except for a heartbroken black cat.

He stood in the middle of the empty park, wondering about what had happened moments before. He met up with Ladybug at the Eiffel Tower not too long ago. Not to patrol for the night, not to have silly adventures,  
but to just talk.

Talk about their feelings, open up to one another. Even though he had known her for months now, he never really _met_ her. He was blind on her feelings, her dreams, her goals, her passions; he wanted to learn more about her. And, hopefully, she would learn more about him. Hopefully, she would be able to see past the jokes and puns and discover her partner. Hopefully, they would be able to enter each other's hearts.

While waiting for her, he held up a rose tightly to his chest. The rose signified their relationship- beautifully folded petals, layers and layers of pure red, and a few thorns on the stem. He has oh so waited for this night, his eyes twinkling just as bright as the tower's lights. His dreams would vividly conjure up scenes of them, talking and holding hands under the stars. He would hold her hand tightly, never wanting to let go. When they looked at each other, their eyes would fill with trust. All he ever wanted was to be by her side. 

But dreams aren't reality.

Ladybug soon arrived at the tower, her face calm, almost expressionless, as she landed on her feet and put her yoyo around her waist. He didn't move.

She sat by his side, greeting him.

_"Bonsoir, Chat Noir."_

He greeted her back with a shy smile. 

_"Bonsoir, Ladybug."_

She looked slightly shocked. _"You're not calling me 'milady'?"_

He put down the rose from his chest. _"I thought tonight would be a little more serious than our usual playdates together. Don't you think so?"_

Ladybug sighed and held her head up, looking at the view of the city. _"I guess you're right, I wasn't planning on opening myself up tonight. I almost passed up your invitation... I soon realized that you're right. We barely know anything about each other. We're always too caught up on saving Paris."_ She let out a short giggle, but he could still sense the shakiness in her voice. She was nervous.

He held a hand up to her shoulder and smiled reassuringly. _ "There's nothing to be worried about, it's just me. You know you won't be judged. I will listen to you no mater what."_

They shared a moment of silence together. He cherished every second of it. She took a quick glance at him and he nodded.

She smiled softly. _"If I had to tell you one thing about myself, Chat, is that I'm terrified. I'm terrified about the akumas, Hawkmoth, and about the future. The fact that we are responsible for the lives of thousands of people still haunts me. Everyday. So many people depend on Ladybug. At the back of my head I fear of failing all the time. I also have to take responsibility for my civilian life, which I don't know how to control. I can be a complete mess. I don't know how you stay so positive all the time, but I truly admire that about you, Chat."_ She looked as if she was about to cry, but refrained from shedding a tear.

He looked at her closely and sincerely, his heart bleeding for her. She always seemed so confident and positive, and he just found out that she was secretly hurting inside. He stopped thinking and dropped the rose, then embraced her in a tight hug. She didn't resist. She accepted it, wrapping her arms around his back.

They stayed in this position for about a minute. He then relaxed his muscles a bit before talking, still with her between in his arms.

_"Life as a civilian isn't always easy for me. Sometimes I feel constricted to a cage, not being able to escape. But with you, Ladybug, you truly make me feel like I'm capable of breaking some of those chains of everyday life..."_

His voice turned into a whisper.

_"...I truly love you, I really do."_

He let go of her slowly. Ladybug stood up and turned her face away from him. It was full of guilt.

_"I'm so sorry..._  
_...but you know I can't love you."_

The rose didn't seem as lively as it did before.

He remembered every single moment. His heart felt so heavy. He cursed at himself for almost every thing he did. He's been rejected so many times before, but why did this one hurt so much? He stared up at the sky, waiting for an answer.

The rain just trickled down on him.

The universe seemed to taunt him. He felt so selfish for feeling this way, but he couldn't help it. His heart ached more than a gunshot. The more he thought about what happened, the more tears seemed to run down his face. 

Every second passing by stabbed him in the heart. The words _I'm in love with someone else_ echoed through his brain. His emotions were out of order and control. He scratched the park benches with his claws out of anger and sadness. He barely made a mark. He felt too weak to do any damage.

There's no point in trying to destroy anything, it wouldn't fix the hole in his heart.

He fell in defeat and wept silently to himself.

It hurt so much.

He had no idea why. Was this only because of his heartache? Or was it also because of self-hatred? Guilt? Stress? 

How could he be so selfish? He's always known that she loves someone else...  
She has more of a burden to carry than he does, what does he think he's doing? Crying and making a big deal over a silly crush. He has more important things he could be doing. But he's being so pathetic. 

A hero of Paris, lying on the ground in the middle of the night, in the cold rain.  
He couldn't believe himself.  
What a failure he was.  
A mangy alley cat.

Why does it still hurt?

It wasn't fair.

He felt so hopeless.

He shivered, cold from the rain.

All he could think of was Ladybug.  
All that they've been through together...  
he knew he couldn't get rid of the thoughts and memories.

The first day they met, she fell on him clumsily while learning how to use her yoyo.  
It's felt like it's been forever since that day...

He clenched his fist. It was obvious that the memories were bittersweet. 

He tried thinking of all the other things that made him happy.  
His friends, his father, his school and his classmates, Plagg,

his mother.

Wouldn't life be so much better if she were here?  
Her warm smile, her silky hair, her caring and lovable hugs that made Adrien feel safe.  
He reached for the past, reminiscing about his mother.

They would play duets with each other on the piano, laughing their way through the song. His father would watch and smile, seeing the two joys of his life play together on the instrument. 

They would be taking walks around Paris, and sometimes would end up caught in the rain. His mother would watch her son play in the rain and jump in the puddles. Although she was under an umbrella with Gabriel, she would sometimes tell Adrien that she too, wanted to dance and play in the rain with him, if she didn't have any restrictions, jokingly poking at her husband. The three of them would laugh the whole walk back home.

On his birthday, they would make him handmade little cards and take him out to explore the city; he could spend the day however he pleased, even if it meant trying on all of his mother's hats at home. The three of them seemed so giddy together.

He missed seeing his father smile.

Ever since she's disappeared, Adrien has never seen his father been truly happy.

All of the piercing moments of the present came back to him. The rain seemed to never end. How long has he been here? 

No matter how much he tried to escape it, he was still here.

still here...

still here...

why was he still here?

he didn't want to be here, but it's all what he has right now.

he laid on his back and felt the rain drip onto his face.

he accepted it.

_drip, drip, drip_


End file.
